Thursday, December 5, 2013

Love Ishq aur Pyaar

Love has the immense power to block your vision as well as inspire you like no one has ever did. Its that feeling that can destroy you, rebuilt you or in other cases make you happy. As I have read somewhere " loved by someone gives you strength and loving someone gives you courage." As one of my friend just had a googely patch up with her love and I  on the other hand realized that love is blind, deaf and all the crazy things that you can think about!!
Love is the sunny weather on a chilly cold morning. Love is the steaming coffee enjoying on the side of the window when I watch rain and think of the silly conversation that I have with him. Love is wandering around the streets of Kolkata. Love is the smell of the books after visiting book fair after a long gap. Love is....waiting a whole year to see him in front of my eyes. Love is an overnight conversation and not realizing that its already morning!! Love is an empty phone battery. Love is an unexpected call at 4:00 A.M. Love is many more things but if I start writing them all then I might not be able to end this post any day sooner. But mostly I feel love is the happiness and sadness both which I feel during a skype call, through which I can see but I can never touch!! And that is when I truly feel that there is something more than just this love that binds us together and that is what gave us strength to survive all the miseries and negative incidents that we have came through. Because it is very easy love but it is surely infinitely times harder to maintain that same love....the same feeling for the same person.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Currently Reading: Charlotte's Web by E.B.White

Childhood is full of fascinating and enjoyable things if you know where to look. And books are the best place to look for them. Talking animals, giants, fairies, forbidden rooms are some of the factors that makes imagination more fashionable and gives them a wing to fly!!

When I took Charlotte's Web I had the least expectation that I will get all those things back again. But it did. With talking animals and a hidden agenda to save someone's life...it makes itself a must read in the list of children's book.


The story is of Wilbur who is a spring pig destined to be slaughtered. But it seems that luck has some plans made for him from the beginning. He was born a runt and was on the edge of death when Fern, a little girl saved him. Then again, a grey spider, named Charlotte made plans to save him from becoming a fresh meat!! It gives a fresh representation of barn life and the lives of the animals who live their.
Their simple plain living, laughter, silly jokes made me feel like I am standing in front of them and I am the witness of their conversation. Then there is Templeton, a rat, who lives in the barn and eats from Wilber's meal and other leftovers. No one likes him because of his sneaky character but at right moment he never fails you.


The friendship between Charlotte and Wilbur is the main attraction of the story. Charlotte does everything to save his friend but never asks anything. She consoles Wilbur and cheers him up in need. At the end Charlotte dies and Wilbur saves her children by rescuing the egg sack. When the baby spider grows, eventually they leave but some of them always remain with them and becomes a friend of Wilbur. But no one ever could replace Charlotte.

To be straight the story is only this. But if you look a little deeper its full of freshness, subtle comedy and an undying friendship. Relationships never end..they are not meant to be ended. If its true then the feeling will remain same and will only grow with time. Death can never steal a person. Its the work with which you live long. Its the friends you make, who makes you live long with their memories and past moments!! This is a story of friendship and self- sacrifice. This also gives an impression of passing of time with Charlotte dying in the end. It is perfectly illustrated and with the simple writing at times it becomes heart wrenching as well.

It has made its own place in my heart. I wish I could have read it when I was a child. It has everything, from humor to seriousness to the grief of death of a very close and a loved person.  I will love to read it again and will love to read it to my younger sisters. The plus point it has some real good quotes. Some of them are :  "Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen", "She was in a class by herself. It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.", I loved the book entirely and I am a mere person to rate a classic. To best judge the book read it yourself or gift it to some child. That will best serve my post regarding the book.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Currently Reading: Delhi Is Not Far by Ruskin Bond

As a child and as a student I have always loved books. But of course the books have to be strictly out of my syllabus. It can be fiction, non fiction and I even enjoyed reading science books of senior classes and in holidays I used to read the only encyclopedia that I had in my home reading the different layers of the leaves, the atmosphere of mars and I was enchanted by the wondrous life under water.


 My mother was the only person there who encouraged me to read more but my excessive reading habits sometimes even irritated her to such an extreme level that she used to threat me to throw away all my books if I ignore my school books any longer. Belonging to a middle class family and reading in a bengali medium school I was more devoted towards bengali books be it modern or Tagore or Satyajit Roy than books of other language!! It was not until my 10th exam that I started reading english literature with a lot more interest!! But classics were of more interest then rather than Ruskin Bond or Roald Dahl. Its only recently that I came in touch with Ruskin Bond. The first story that I read was Time Stops at Shamli....and I was left enchanted. A few days later I got this book DELHI IS NOT FAR.


Delhi Is Not Far is about Arun and the people he knows around him. The story is based on a little town named Pipalnagar. Each person has their own lives and their own dreams of their future. The little and delicate details of their lives are heart touching. The lives are small and not full of events while the daily routine are same as they were yesterday. The friendship between and Arun and Suraj are something that every man on earth craves their friendship to be...without demand, without expectation but a heart full of care and worry for others. There is this barber named Deep Chand who has the dream of opening his own salon in Delhi and give a hair cut to the Prime Minister of India. Aziz  who also wants to go to Delhi. There is Kamala, another interesting character who appears to have a soft corner for Arun but Arun thinks she has fallen for Suraj.


Ruskin Bond has shown to describe the daily activity of life in a way that seems a blessing. Having the roof on top of our head and having friends beside makes the life a lot easier than being alone. The story ends with Arun going to Delhi and agreeing to a job for publishing house and writes a letter to his friend. I will not reveal more of the story as every piece of word is full of happiness and a purity that I only get from Ruskin Bond. With his magic touch the rusty roads and nooks and corners of Pipalnagar becomes lively. I come to know the town life...the frustration and the simplicity of it and I like it.


I look forward to read more from Ruskin Bond...I have already some of his works. And I enjoy reading his children's story the most. If you are reading this and have any rading suggestions about Ruskin Bond feel free to share with me in the comment section.


Thursday, November 7, 2013

Currently Redaing - The Promise by Nikita Singh



I read a lot of books and they are mainly fictions. But when it comes to the new Indian writers writing English books and novels I generally give it a pass...but I regret it so much now!! I picked up this book THE PROMISE as I needed to feel my cart for the free shipping amount and after it came home I was lying at one side of the rack where I first kept it. Then one day in another passing moment I picket it up and started reading. And once started reading it was hard to put that down.


The story is of Samvabi and Arjun. They meet, fall in love split up and then get reunited again. I am not going to tell the small details behind that because to know them you need to read them.  The turns and twists in the stories are quite predictable but with the flow that the story is written it seems a joy ride!!! I never stumbled upon the entire book feeling bored. It has something that hooked me up till I finished the book.


The book and the character Samvabi is heavily inspired by FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. Some of the dialogues and expressions and situations have their own resembles. But as much I hated the previous one...the so called 'nyakami' of Samvabi left me giggled with laugh!! And god...I loved her innocence in that!!

The only time that I skipped some pages were the time when Samvabi was recovering. While the falling in love phase is so delicately and beautifully portrayed the the story afterwards is bit loosely woven until they breakup based on some misunderstandings. But otherwise its as fresh as a bread just out of the oven and I am more than glad that I read it. The freshness and the madness of falling in love and controlling the uncontrollable emotion are everywhere around the book. As good as I felt while reading this part, their separation and suffering had equal effect on me.


All in all, although the story is not much different The Promise makes a promise to you that it will not let you forget itself with its dewy fresh charm and the brimming young writer's thoughtful mind in it. I am planning to buy Nikita Singh's If its not forever its not love now. Hope that will be as much enjoyable as this was!!


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Culture and and me

Culture is a hefty word. We the common people whose lives are so engrossed with their work and families have little time to think about their culture and tradition until and unless there is an occassion or puja or when someone does something off the path. That is the time when we become so conscious about out culture which are so much linked up with our lives that we forget that there it is..sitting all over us...controlling us and looking over us!!
For  me culture is the day to day lifestyle I lead...the very routine that I follow everyday of my life. That is so me...that is so intertwined with my character that living off the routine is beyond imagination!!
But a girl's life is a tricky one. It starts in a way and and then takes a u turn in between. Last week my friend was talking about this to me. All this my my getting married situation has left her speechless at first. That day she told me that she is scared of all the changes and that's why she was so shocked with my news. The pleasant news of mine gets some times teary welcome when I think of leaving all my friends and all the homely comforts behind. Someone has said so truly  that to get one you must sacrifice some.
I don't know what the future awaits for me...but all the sadness and all the tears that I have felt for a time are now gone. And I feel bliss. I feel so loved that sometimes it gives me a fright to live a life with a bit of less love in it. I wish and I hope that things will always be the same and that particular face will always bring this same warmth and smile in my heart.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My first grocery shopping

Have you ever seen a pearl before its use in any ornament?? In a box wrapped with cotton balls so nothing can harm it...even there can not be any scratch on it!! I am raised like this from the first day I was born. Yes...I have struggled, I have struggled a lot..but from the perspective of education. I have eaten what was given on my plate, wore what was given to me without any question and without any objection. In short I could have been an ideal girl that any famlily or parent could have wished for. But still they were not happy because they thought I could have been better in  terms of obedience as of course I used to be a little ziddy....in terms of what I want around myself. The problem aroused how I should keep my books or which color of curtain I want on my window...all silly matters.
My sister on the other hand are really active. She started doing grocery shopping from the age of 10 and played second fiddle to my mother in keeping the house to its place. She is an expert cook and knows almost everything where the household things are kept. So despite me being the elder sister she played all the duties of an elder daughter of the family with respect and with perfection.
But days are not the same always. Sometimes mood swings take place and we tell some bad things to close people that we should not. But words are words. Once told can never be taken back and impact is made permanently. That's what happened with my sister. And I was almost to tears that she could tell me those words and thought that I should at least try to do my own things that I need rather depending on others to complete them.
That day I needed some necessary things for my diet. My juice was finished today and the nuts they were also not in stock. The curds are not there and I needed raisins and dates for evening snacks. So I took my money and headed towards the market. But then I did not know that where to buy those things. I saw the juice curtain while coming home the previous day. Then I queried my mother about the local shop to buy nuts and all that and headed toward that. And yes I bought them. I only skipped the dates and bought raw nuts instead of roasted. But its okay....I will learn while doing!!
But what I want to talk about the feeling that I got while shopping all on my own. I can't put into words or compare it to anything because it was so different and so special. Other times mother or sister would forget somethings but I took everything that I needed and I was satisfied with myself that I then and there decided to do my things all by myself. Of course you can earn money and that also gives you an immense pleasure but if you can use them as you decide and not depend on others for even a glass of water. That is when you become full independent. That is when you feel free..!!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Currently Reading : Memoirs Of A Giesha



Having lots of time for me right now...I am investing all  my time into reading books...lots and lots of books. So today I thought of sharing them with you all...whoever is reading my blog here! So starting this new segment with the book that I started reading a few days back. ~ MEMOIRS OF A GIESHA.
I think I was in class six or seven when I saw the movie in tits and bits. I could not understand a lot back then and skipped some scenes too!!


But later when I watched the movie again it instantly became one of my favorite. I knew it was based on the novel under the same name and one month back I purchased it through Flipkart.



The book is a masterpiece in itself giving an insight to the lives of a GIESHA. If you don't know then here is the meaning of Giesha for you - "Geisha, geiko or geigi are traditional Japanese female entertainers who act as hostesses and whose skills include performing various Japanese arts such as classical music, dance and games." If you have only watched the movie you have only seen one fourth of it. The book is so much descriptive and detailed in nature but still has its own flow and I never felt boring while reading.


The writer is so much aware that people outside Japan will not be able to understand all the customs and rituals and all the dressing attire..so he explains everything so simply that even a child will be able to understand them all.


Sayuri's upbringing, her agony, her desire to meet the chairman and her dream of becoming a giesha is so beautifully described that at some moment it appear that Sayuri is so familiar with me and her pain and love is also making me laugh and cry and smile at different moments.



I have read books where after a point of time the book loses its flow and makes it tiresome for the reader. But I did not have a single moment that I wanted to put the book without reading a substantial amount.
An absolute must read and a classic in itself.

Friday, September 13, 2013

A random bong girl's point of view - women empowerment

As a student and a girl self empowerment was the only motivation that drove to achieve the education that I have today and will also drive me  till the end of my life. I strongly hate the idea of women empowerment. You may find the two sentences contradictory but in this 21st century world where we shriek to the highest level of our throat why should we separate ourselves as only the WOMEN?? We call us equal..that all the human beings are equal in every sense and they should be treated equally. Then we should focus more on self empowerment rather than categorizing ourselves with the very idea of women empowerment.
We girls and women who live in this city society where we see every girl having education and having a dream of achieving something in our lives...a question arises in my mind that are we really free?? Are we being equally treated??
Still today having a baby and getting married to a well established boy is regarded more fancy and better than the solid good pay check of the girl.
Still when I walk in the road and go for shopping or go to the market I see women more than men. In a country...in a society where women participation in the work force is so low is it possible to achieve the one tenth of the empowerment that we dream we will have one day?? I am not talking or not at all concerned about the stats or numbers because if there is any change in the numbers it will definitely show up in the society that we live in.
I have seen my friends who are so concerned about their career as well as I have seen girls who are so comfortable to live a life on their husband's salary. Its not about money.It never was. It is doing something what you love.Doing for yourself. Making yourself useful for the society. The family tag of mother, wife, sister is always there but it is equally important to achieve a social tag of your own on the basis of your credentials.  Its about the self satisfaction that I get when I pay for myself....and I wish every girl around me feels the same someday and gets used to with it. 

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Monsoon Madness

It was almost two days of consistent raining in Kolkata and these gloomy weather left me in a gloomy mood in the care of me alone. Meanwhile I had my old fever. It comes often to visit me. It feels like he is my long lost lover who comes back once in a while to check upon me. To ask me how am I doing all along?? But his caring leaves me exhausted.  With this cold weather fever left me a bit more tired this time accompanying me with choked throat and aching body.
I love rains. Be it cats and dogs or the heavy rain with lots of thunders and storm. Watching the rain from the window of my room has been one of my preferred leisure time...of course if it is raining outside. The window does not give a very much glimpse of the sky..its just a little bit but it allows all the cold, fresh air inside my room and sometimes the rain itself. The curtains get wet...but I don't mind! We don't get a year full of rains....so when its pouring outside why think of all these earthy things???
When I was in school I was so crazy about rain that I used to leave umbrella home so that I can get wet on my way to house.  And I used to get drenched. But once this led to a high fever with lots of hallucination. So from then on my mother used to make sure that I take umbrella in my bag. School days were a lot of fun. I did not have too many friends but still I managed to enjoy everything I like on my own. Of course getting wet in the rain is a lot of fun with friends but I still  managed to get wet alone and have a good look around. Also having panipuri while its raining was also on my checklist every year. I used to do this with my sister.
But as I grew up all these notions of childhood seemed to fade off. Or this can be other way around. All these notions faded off...so I grew up. And now I generally avoid getting wet in the rain as I easily catch fever now.
So, last day on my way to tuition it was again pouring and I guarded myself with an umbrella. The street was not crowded and it seemed like the rain made everything look in a new avatar. The trees were looking more greener and the street with its heavy ink blue background of sky made it look like as if just had a bath and has not been yet able to dry it off. It was giving such a wet feel to my senses. As I walked by lots of thoughts passed my mind. I was a little anxious and confused about my studies and career as well as I was thinking about all the fights that had taken place between me and Subrata for the last couple of days. The gentle fresh breeze was sailing high and was filling my thoughts with an unknown satisfaction. And I was left happy. With the problems in my life suddenly I felt my mind so bright and for one moment I wanted to all the miserable things to let go of myself and wanted to be reincarnated with this rain.
There are somedays when you feel so delighted that all the other things makes no effect on you and you see things that you have seen already in a different way as if they were never there before and you have just seen them now. Exactly this is what happened with me that day. The streets of Kolkata becomes filthy as a result of rain. All the foul things and garbage gets scattered everywhere. But that day I didn't mind them and walked along the street watching them carefully. Mainly the garbage were the vegetable skin. I really don't have any idea why the hell the people throw them outside rather than keeping in the garbage can for the day and give it to the man collecting garbage the very next day!! Anyways I didn't mind this and it appeared to be a very normal result of the rain.
I also was looking at the buildings on both sides of the street. I saw the balconies that I have never seen before. The banners of advertisement that has skipped my eyes perfectly all these days and all the designs of the buildings that someone has built with the last penny of their savings, something that every man desires...a house of their own.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Our very old Coffee House

Some days back I had to go to college street for some university office work. So I had to start my day really early. I am not a early riser so I actually started everything with red eyes and sore mind. I hate waking up early. Even if sometimes I wake up...I kind of have very huge preference towards rolling down in the bed. I like to start my day lazily...in that way I find the morning passing on more quickly that it really does when I have to go university and do all the studies or simply work my own stuff.
So with the intention of getting rid of my morning dizziness I was rolling as usual today and I found the clock running like a mad horse and I was yet to have my shower and get ready. So finally to the very against own will I got ready in a speed racing car and was finally on my way.
It was only the early august. So the summer should have been a lot more bearable by this time. But this year the summer is likely to be not ending ever. There is only some sprinkling of rain to this dusty earth and otherwise its the sweaty summer all over in its never ending fury. I hate this summer here. Actually I hate the very idea of sweat dropping from every part of the body in summer. Otherwise summer is cool with its light clothes and yummy fruits and specially an awesome excuse to have ice cream almost thrice a day!!
After getting out of home is not the final burden that I have to come across in the way. I also have to undergo with the horrible traffic condition of Kolkata which sometimes makes me think that in order to reach somewhere I have to start from almost two hours early. The streets are noisy, congested and most importantly overloaded. The buses makes the road so fuller that over vehicles fins it almost next to impossible to move. Sometime the traffic jam makes me late for almost 45 minutes and even if there is no traffic jam the traffic signal makes the life tough. There is signal in every five minutes distance and the bus will stand in every signal in order to catch passenger.
College street where the original campus of Calcutta University is situated is famous for its innumerable book shop and is also known as BOI PARA. I love this place mainly because I am a book sucker and I love places hovering with books...be it new and old. There Coffee House is another famous place here. It is an old Indian version of modern cafes. In the old days you could have seen all the intellectual people, poets and writers gathering here in groups with just one cup of coffee, smoking cigarettes and spending hours with their debates and thoughtful discussions on worldly matters. Today also students gather here from the nearest Presidency University, Scottish Church College, Surendranath College and Vidyasagar College. This is also a so called no smoking area with small banners and hoardings everywhere indicating not to smoke but no one really cares about it. And also the authorities are not concerned about it or implementing the rule. So everyone here is carelessly smoking to their free will and making the air dizzy. If you stoop from the second floor balcony you will see the smokey air covering the whole area. I prefer to sit on the balcony in the second floor. It has more air compared to the first floor. If you are planning to visit coffee house make sure you have enough time in your hand because grabbing a sit will take a bit time there as it is always crowded. And if you are lucky you may get a table as fast as you get there.
However whenever I go to college street I go to this place. Although it is named after coffee I hate its coffee. Its almost like water....full bizarre. And sometimes they just forget to give sugar in it. I don't order it rather I find their chicken pakora more delicious. Also delicious is not the exact word. But if you are really hungry and more or less good food is given to you you will find it delicious. There you can also find sandwiches, chicken cutlet, chicken kabiraji, and same stuffs with mutton. This time I order a chicken noodles. Once they take the order their is a long waiting process before they finally serve the food. I actually feel that we are being waiters here. Waiting..and waiting in our hungry stomach wondering whether the food has actually been lost in the midway.
However this time was no exception from their being late invisible rule. And when it actually came I was so surprised at the quantity.Not to say that it was really too little for me and my sister and the food actually made us more hungry. We thought of ordering something more but considering the time they take to actually reach our table we were panic stricken and wanted to have something else from outside the coffee house. So we ate whatever there was in the plate and wrapped our day in half full stomach. Only to say that we had phuchka on the way back home to satisfy our hungry mind.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Expect or not?

When you love someone and don't get that in return...or get almost nothing of what you expect, negative emotions start bumping on your head and heart to give you mental as well as physical setbacks so all you get is kind of an unstable life.
Earlier when I talked to the person whom I care and love I used to become so surprised that someone can actually conclude the entire conversation with a simple word "OK".  And I used to become so upset. I am not a very emotional girl but what I feel is true and what I do is truly from the heart. But then I start expecting that he will do the same or may be more for me. Will be always there when I will need him and will be my emotional support. Will understand me and my thoughts. Or do something for me when I am least expecting it. But as time passed on, which is only a few months to say I am realizing that from his point of view the relation is standing on the ground of necessity. He is there because he thinks that it is that point in his life when someone should be there in his life to take care. I can't see any kind of excitement, emotion from his side which used to kill me at some times back. I used to look into his eyes and tried to find out whether those eyes were trying to love me or not. So I tried and tried and I failed miserably every time. May be its my childish instinct which tries to get his attention but again is it wrong?? Actually it was my love for him which did not try to understand at first that there is no written or even invisible rule that when you love you should also be loved back!
I read in a lot of books that time is the best healer. But I don't agree with it. Time can't and it has never healed anything. It just makes us accostomed to live with the pain such that, one day, it will be as usual as any other thing or incident. It will be as usual as breathing where you will never notice it but there will always be that enormous dent in your heart. In you. What will remain are the shattered pieces of those awkward moments where I tried to cling on to someone and I was destined to fall.
That is what happened with me. His absence his indifference to me no longer gives me heart aches and I am happy with it. I no longer check my phone every five minutes and I started spending more time with my books and movies. And I can say yes I am happy.
I no longer want to be there, where I have spend lots of sleepless nights crying and sobbing. And there was no one to rub my tears off my face. I hate of the thought that I was even there at some point of time where I gave so much importance to someone who did not even bothered to look back at me and ask me if I was okay. So with time I let myself free of this captivating love and I realized that this is the best I have done for myself.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Confused..is it???

My result got out this Monday and to save you from asking the question that how was it..lets get over the curtain that it was horribly bad. I could not possibly imagine that it could be that bad. It is the consequence of my over confidence which made me think that it will be okay...I have handled it so far and I will pass with flying colors this year too!! But this went completely wrong. So I am a little lost and confused as to what to do now. To be honest I have never liked this subject Economics. I actually hated it. And doing masters with a subject that you don't like is a tough choice..if anyone here knows what I mean. There were lots of drama behind this choice but lets save it for another day. Now I have no interest to go further with Economics and trying change my course. I know its going to get rough a bit but now I want to focus on something that I think is interesting for me. So I have narrowed down my search and came to select 2 subjects - English and Sociology. Not to say that my parents are very happy with it. Of course it always gives a good impression to them if you are doing your higher studies with a strong and tough and renowned subject. Leaving Economics and going to English or Sociology is really downmarket for them.
But this time I have to work it out. I am not changing my decision for anyone but me. Although this is a bad time for me...lets hope everything will go well.

Food - take me as I am

Who does not need food??Its the basic necessity of life and if taken otherwise it can be the most luxuriiously lived passion of the whole human being. I have seen people who eat because they just need to eat..that is to sustain their lives. Others just eat. I mean they eat everything....they see they grab and they eat. They just love to eat...as it is the only action they know and love to perform. Others...the most typical one is the most rare kind....and I love them. They are the food lovers. They not only love it, they cherish it...lingers the moment and most importantly visually...physically and most importantly they have a lust for it. I prefer to call them foodie. I mean...hei...food is not only give you calories and burn the energies...they are also the food for the soul. If the served food does not have the visual appeal will it satisfy you completely?? I prefer to call this typical special kind as the FOODIE. But..to fail you very badly...I am a terrible foodie. Yes...I am not an eater..I am a foodie.
That does not count in the fact that I act snobbish in choosing food and of course nor does it mean that I eat like swines. Its just the fact that I plan a lot..but I eat a little. Anyone who goes out with me just get mad as after choosing this this and this...I may only eat this and a very little portion of other this.Its like the five year plannings....planned accordingly but never completed.
I was not...I am not and I will hopefully never be figure conscious. I just don't think about the fact until its crossing the limit. Its also because I love to eat and taking into account all the calories that are going into my body may actually blow up my mind!! But the problem here is that my stomach is the one who betrays me all the time. It gets fully satisfied so easily and if I happen to swallow some more bites I will have to spent the night drinking water to overcome the uneasiness in my body. What can I do?? Its my mind that plays the role of the pervert here. It sees any delicious looking food and feels an immense urge to feel it in the mouth. Wants to drool over it...wants to roll its tongue over it!!Oh...all that pervert thoughts!!
So today after watching the movie The Conjuring I headed towards The Mc Donalds accompanied by my sister in the mood of having some good food time. I have eaten a lot in KFC but I have never stepped inside Mc Donalds. Or you can say I always wanted to play safe by eating what I have so far tasted good.
But after so much nail biting moments in the theater I wanted to try something new...well that is very new for me too as I am always so happy to remain in my comfort zone. So with sheer courage I went and I ordered. The food was simple. Just  burger, their so very famous french fries and coke. The fries were good but the burger did not impress me much. I don;t know whether it was my old spark with KFC or whether the burger is overrated by others that I found it a little bit shallow in taste. The bread was soft, the chicken was good but I am not somehow could not find any good word to praise it. It was okay from my side. My mind was not satisfied but my stomach really was. It was full and did not want to take in any more. Mind whispered to go immediately towards the ice cream parlor and fulfill its thirst but by then I was horribly late for my tuition and rushed towards home to drop my sister. Meanwhile I was reminiscing with virtual rears all the way about  my untouched ice cream and promised myself to have some later. God knows when!!
Moral of the story : Too much food can actually ruin your day!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Pets or pests??

As you know...or you may not that I live in a house which is full of cats and dogs. It may sound weird..but it is the truth. We have five cats. No, they are not siblings. Each has a different and cute story line of their own. None..except one...we have planned to keep with ourselves but others eventually ended up with us. The very small messed up...and sometimes screwed up family of us.
We are four members in our house. We have 3 rooms, one kitchen and one corridor. Parents come to home for sleeping purpose only. Don;t take it otherwise..they are just very busy with their business and wok outside. So its me and my sister in home. Since our business is just beside our home...my mother has the time to come by home some time and clean it. As with five cats and two huge dogs...our home is just messed up as we are.
Each of the cats have interesting names and very typical to their looks. In the Descending order of their age...they are : Miu, Chana, Mishti, Pukai and Pukpuki.
So as you can see...Miu is the oldest and she is the most pampered one. She came to us on my sister's assistance. It was one of my cousin brother who brought her to us. When she came she was so tiny that she could be so easily fitted in our palms...The first time I saw her on my cousin's shoulder..it was only tears that was only visible instead of her eyes. She was crying...and she kept crying for nearly a week. All we could do was to caress her..take her in our laps and show her the road from our balcony. And she used to watch the people walking, the dogs barking and running across our locality and the cars...that swifted across the street from a distance. And thats how she grew up..now she is so big that she does not fit our lap. She is all grown up so she is not just satisfied with our gentle caress or the pampering that we give her. She has made her own world. She jumps up on the brick made thick wall in our balcony on the ground floor and watches the passer by. Sometimes she just vanishes... and after a long search we find her under the bed being sound asleep. Fumbling with anger...we just laugh at ourselves. That's how she is. Our first emotional offspring of our teen age lives. However she is the only one who does not make us nuts on our nerves...that is to say whatever she does are not that up to the mark of being referred as pest compared to other cats in my home.
Now comes the story of CHANA. In bengali chana means cottage cheese. She came from one of my school friends home. They already had 4 cats...so they were intending to give her up to some one..and here I took charge..and in spite of my mother's huge protest..I took her home. She was soo white at that time that I thought to give her the name milky. But my sister insisted on the name chana...and that was final. Initially..in her early days she acted just like a baby. There was not a moment when we were able to she her not playing. She could play with anything. She even played with air. We were really dumbstruck seeing that.If there was just only one piece of paper or the cap of a pen or just a plastic bag littering lazily from one corner to another corner. She will definitely not spare that. She will push that from her for a distance and will run with full force after it to catch. That's what she does even now when she is quite grown up and is a very large looking cat. She also plays the role of  Don here scaring out the little ones to death whenever she is around. Well these are not her pest identity...the real problem started occuring from the time when we saw her peeing on our clothes. At first we did not take it seriously as we thought that it might be some of her mischievious act. But it became viral at some point later. She started peeing on everything. Be it books or clothes or she even peed on the bed. After giving some painfully horrible training to her...I am saying horrible because that was on our part and took miserable patience as till then we might have gone through a lot of washing and wastage of different things. But now things are on a hold. She does not pee anymore to our ultimate relief.:)
So this was the story of my two once little cats...the other stories are coming soon...but to save you from this boredom...lets stop here and I will be back with another insanely stupid story of my life in the next post!!
Till then...ciao!!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Lingering afternoons

Today the sky was pouring in the noon. The gentle fresh dewy air breezed over my face as I lay in the bed reading one of the Ruskin Bond book. I love Ruskin Bond. I find his love for the mountain exceptionally different and the portray of his feelings are poetic yet fresh and in simple phrases.
I am not a writer..neither I intend to be. I am very poor in portraying my feelings. This you can say my day day record of my own life. Here I can write everything. From nasty hatred feelings for some one to write about my innermost hidden desired.
I have gained weight recently and trust me I am not any inch close to those skinny beauties and I am really happy with myself. I love me the way I am. But everyone around me likes to be skinny. But I give a damn to them!! So...sometimes I also get morally depressed and start to think like everyone else. The ultimate desire of everyone is how to get a size zero waist line???sob..sob...that's a far cry...but recently I thought a lot..as I was no where in love with my fat oversize arms and belly. So I decided to loose them. But there is a very distinct thought. I have started doing exercises and eating less street food to just loose fat. Otherwise I am head over hills over myself. I may not be the skinniest one. I may not be very glamorous and can sport shorts and tee very stylishly but this is what make me. And I love the the person I am and I am in no way to loose it for any one.
This is not a lecture post on how to loose your weight or why you should loose it. Its just I came to realize there's no harm in being not skinny but if you have fat it can lead to lots of problem. So its always a wise choice to loose them...:) and I have made it!! Recently I am having problems with walking long distances, climbing the roof top. The most irritating part is my favorite clothes no longer fit  me..:( So to satisfy me in all sphere and aspect I have decided to loose the fat...mind it I am not intending to loose my weight!!:)
I don't know why I am writing this post may be I had to clear it to myself that why I am doing all these. I was a little disappointed after listening to a remark from one of my family member. She might have said it for my own good but people do not understand that their words can have a lot of effect over others. So being discouraged I started to think how should I loose my weight. Then one evening I started to do skipping and doing it continuously for some morning I really understood the effect of exercise. I feel fresh in the morning now. Earlier I always used to doze off....but that is mostly gone now. May be I have taken the decision in a bad motive....but I rectified it. And I want to keep it up.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Love....actually

I think animals are more pure and distinctive and pure in expressing their love in which man gets itself more complicated and ruthless and unlawful. These days the purity of love is lost in the passion of lust. I see the dogs, the cats..I read about the other animals. And I see them being blessed. There is no hiding no back stabbing and nothing like playing with others soul and emotion. But man...being the superior of all has mastered in all these arts.
Why can't a man be truthful??Why can't he express what he actually has in his mind as well as heart. Life has become so confusing...understanding anyone is like solving a Rubik's cube. No matter what you do it has become almost next to impossible. Even the eyes tell lies these days...what am I supposed to believe?? The lies..or the truths that I get to know from the expressions or what I understand by my heart?
My mind says that I should listen to my heart but my heart loves to be fooled by the expressive desires...!!
But finally I have came to this conclusion that all these heart, love and romanticism...they do not exist in this mortal world. All theses fairy tales that we grow up listening...is nothing but a bullshit hide out for this crunchy and yet heart scorching truth that boys are incapable of feeling love. Specially husbands...these specific species..desires every women on this earth except their wives.All they want is s*x...s*x and only and lots of s*x!!Why is it that...wives get treated like washrooms??Can't the expect a little respect from anyone??

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Day to day...going on

Its half past mid night. I had some video chat with Subrata and then started reading Lolita..Why is the night so speechless??Whenever I don't feel sleepy I just lay awake and think upside down of this world. What should I do..what I should not. There are a lot of thing to think..that I just use to kill those time...so that when the sky starts turning blue....and when the first crow caws....I can think...ohh...its morning again and I did not sleep at all!! Do you do this kind of awkward things??
In this late night I can remember the story of one of my friend. Its a story of a boy and a girl and yes its a love story. This is the story of Indra and Ruchi. It was some 4 years ago that they started their relationship. For her..he was the start and end of this world but for him there was no commitment...no word of marriage. He was a traveller he was a dreamer and to him commitments always hold him back. He wanted to live free..he wanted to come home and see the smiling faces of their loved ones...but he did not want them to wait. For him one should never wait or waste a bit of their life for anyone.
But for Ruchi..who was brought up without her father..Indra kind of filled up the void in her life. She was very small when her father died...she has the idea of him...and in Indra she felt that the idea was taking into some shape. She loved to be pampered like a baby..she wanted to hold his hand when they were crossing the road. With him being beside her she knew that she was not alone...she loved to be dependent on him.
It was some one year back that Indra started mumbing about their relationship going no where. Listening all these she started crying, she clinged into him more than she should have. She thought she could hold him back with her love. But for some people know whaT they have to give up for what they want...and they have the ability to give up. Indra belonged to them.
So on one rainy evening he came to Ruchi's house just to say good buy. He told her that he needs to go. Ruchi being numb could not say anything only tears rolled from her eyes. Her cheeks grew red, her voice chocked down. But this time she let him go. She knew that every time it was only for her that Indra stayed back but not this time. She thought to test her love. Of course holding someone back will give her the mortal body but not the immortal soul. So she kissed him good bye. She told herself that she had to do that only to get him back forever. And this time if he come back...ever..then he will never leave her back.

Friday, July 12, 2013

An awkward suspense

Did I ever tell you that I am a student of masters??No??...Ok..then let me tell you that I am doing my M.Sc in Economics from Calcutta University and have given my second semester last month.
And now I am in huge pressure of thought that whether I will pass or not!! Its not the fact that I am not studious...I study a lot..but its the maths part in which I feel completely lost.It was all those mathematical derivation that took me away...I was starting but reaching no where..In the exam hall I was feeling like a joker...who has a memory but he does not know how to use..so he is just laughing at himself and watching others and literally crying inside!!Oh..that was a time...really...I don't know how I passed it. Now it's just a matter of time to see whether I was able to scribble something meaningful or all those were a just a child's play!!
So to make myself relieved and free from this tension I am dumping myself into books again.I love the smell of the books...the pages scribbled in black letters..its like a new world inviting me to have a bit of their taste and feel lost in them. I feel like the narrator or just sometime the invisible audience who is peeking through their every private moments and watching them closely. Analyzing them, judging them and at times living them itself..So I just finished buying some new books and I am feeling so sooo happy. Currently I am reading THE ENGLISH PATIENT and LOLITA. And I am ordering RIVER OF SMOKE, DELHI IS NOT FAR and LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA. Phew!! I just want to have more..sometimes I just go crazy to see how many books are their left to complete, left to get a hold on.
Its really hot now in Kolkata..and sometimes it is just pouring itself down. Oh...I hate hate this sweaty summer. But sometimes it just amuses me to think that why..why on earth we humans have always this shitty problems. I see my kittens...they are living their life like a gentle cool breeze. Two of my kittens always sleep on my lap and they just doze off everytime. Sometimes they clung to my dress and climb on to chest and sniffs my face..my neck...and then goes back again in my lap. Is this how they caress me...or it is just the affection of being together for so long?? Subrata says that cats are very selfish..and at times I also can not deny this fact...but still I love them, I care for them..
Okk....its half past 2 now...I think I need to go to bathe now...as I have to have my lunch or else my grand mother will shout. So see yaa....have a nice day ahead!! I am also looking forward to have a nice one..

P.S. In case you want me to give my opinions about the books I read just let me know. I will be more than happy to help you in this matter.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Lots of new things

Phew...what a week I had!!First my laptop messed up and I came to know that the LCD is what that screwed itself up. Along came a huge bill to fill up from Lenovo. Then the speaker of my phone went to hell. Yes...you can call that. So another expenditure was coming along.
But this time I could replace it...yes replacing a phone always fasinates me. I get to play with a new one. Not that I am a very much gadget freak but who does not love shiny new things...I am just like those babies who are soo much attracted to shiny new toys. As a baby...or you can say when I was small there was little chance to get hold of new toys and barbies. May be that is the reason that I am now so much drawn towards new things. New suit?? I have to try them today..?? Phone has issues...come one..replace it!! The chain of the hand bag is not working?? Yay..!! Lets have a new one?? Yes...I become that much obsessed sometimes.
Anyways..lets come to present. So I was looking for a cheap android phone. I did not want to spend a lot of money on those high tech phones as this was going to be my first screen touch and smart phone...so I spent some 7000 bucks and got myself a samsung galaxy phone. Its okay...and I am pretty happy with its performance.
Now after paying all these bills I became bankrupt!!I did not have a single penny to spend on myself. But then...God came to my rescue. I don't know how..but my fiance sent me some money...as he said that he is sponsoring the phone. Oh...what a relief...Finally I was relieved and took rest from all the anxiety and went to sleep.:)
But the sound sleep did not last long!! Soon the day came when my sister is leaving for her hostel. At first when we were still in our childhood..as siblings there was not a thing that was common between us. We used to fight a lot and exchange of hot foul words were soo common between us. We lived in the same house but it seemed like we are so separate from each other. There were times when I thought we could never be sisters and will be strangers soon. But with time we started talking and most of the time they did not lead to hot debates any more. We started sharing secrets and we became best of the friends. Now that she is leaving for a long time...it is hurting a lot. I feel like...a part of mine is going away from me. And I have nothing to do. Anyways I am happy for her. I know she is feeling the same...but there are only a few months left before my marriage and there will be no one to guide me in my make up. She will not be here when I will be buying my Banarasi sari...she will not argue with me whether the movie that I am watching is good or not..Most of all I will miss the fighting between us. I will miss her a lot..
May be this is growing up...where we have to accept the pain for the goodness of our loved ones.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Life as it is

It was noon when I got the news that my sister got selected in one of the government art college. Its not the best but it is an achievement for her. I was really happy but at the same time a sank into my own selfish thinking.
When I was about to join my college I had a huge pressure from my family to take economics in place of literature. But past is past. Now I kind of like this subject and pursuing my masters!! But there is always a silver lining in my thought if it would have been literature may be I could study with a lot of interest. Well let's bid this going subject a good bye.
We have two new kittens in our home now..all in all 5 total!! I love and adore them while they play and caress each other. They look soo cute.
I don't know whether I am become hopeless or frustrated...but I feel so low about myself. Outside I am as cheerful as I was..there is something in me that bites me inside that haunts me in my sleep and irritates me all the time. I am not happy..I am not at all happy...but I can't show it. I have everything but still I crave for something that I left behind.
But we should always remember that past is past...and the more I hold on to it the more the future will slip out of my fist!! But you know what its heart...its not brain..!!It knows every nooks and corners of this pathetic little world but its the heart that denies to understand everything and lives inside the fantasy it creates..
Is it a very big deal to expect that the love of my life will also think that I am his world...??Is it really a big deal to expect that...that particular man will make my world..worth living rather than to build my own??

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A little bit of me

Sometimes I freak out..some times I just think...and sometimes I let it go...There's no point holding a point back. In a pathetic rush life we lead in this damn earth...I don't think nothing really matters whether we are holding on to someone or something or just moving one. Cause if we are not doing that...the one will surely do with whom we are holding one. So life's mantra these days are MOVE ON...!!
Ok...Ok...lots of advise are up there...but you know what its not really easy to cope up with someone whom we barely know some months ago and then there is just two words left...our life..!! It was fun initially but as life unfolds itself its not so fun either..!! With kind of 8 moths left of our marriage...I somehow can comprehend how much different life can be when we decide to stay together.Its not just us...there's a whole lot of people engaged with us...and most importantly its that person who makes it so damn special...But what to do when there is a fight?? Its that downside which transforms my single life to a married life.
It's not too long that I fought with him.Its not actually a fight it was rather a misunderstanding of our activity...!!It made me realize that, this is what actually happens when we fight...in most of the cases. I am happy that we have enough time to understand each other being two completely opposite from each other. I am so damn talkative and he is reserved and polite. So there comes some times when he takes some of my activity very very seriously when I on the other end is actually joking. So...girls who are going to be get married soon..this is the problem most of you might face.
I have seen tons of my friends having love live and boyfriends...and I have seen their cosey relationships but this marriage is very very different from that. I can't really explain how different this is...but be sure that this is different.
How is my marriage preparation going???Well my parents fianlly decided the place aftre their first prference was grabbed from them as they got late for 2 days in booking..!! Here is my big advise....first go for the venue...its most dificult to choose.
What mother chose initially was close to our house and was huge and very beautiful. Now we have to move to a place that is at a much distance.
That's it for today....see you in my next post...!!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Butterfly in my stomach

I am not a very much ornament person...I love to live simply..with nothing on me. Mostly I wear earrings occasionally but rings or necklace or bangles...Oh..god...!!They feel so heavy..!!
But you know what when you are getting married change is the only normal thing that happens in your life.So first it was the engagement. I don't mind the ring...actually I love that. Whenever I see that I can see him..and I feel a momentarily bliss.
Now..the problem is some of my elder relatives told mother that a bride to be should not loll like me..you know without any ornaments on her. So here came my mother's confusion. She thought to give me a simple chain and one pair of bangles.!! Well...no..I have to go to university like this???
So I convinced my mother to buy a pair of kundan bangles...yes...they are beautiful, will do its job and I will be happy too!! So problem was avoided..or I should say that it was solved..!!
Later after my study when I was just trying to take a nap...I was thinking about my future life. What will it be like?? every girl dreams of that...but I never thought of it in that way ever..!! A house full of strangers who are apparently not strangers but my family and I have to live with them. Isn't it strange??How will I deal with that?? I have always been pampered in my family. I have never done any work...I have my works all done before I can think of that...but now I have to take responsibilities..I have to cook and yes I have to take care of a lot of people..!! Be it my husband or his(my) family!!
Sometimes I get scared of this thought..and sometimes I get excited thinking over the matter that I will have my own family and I will be the in charge..!!He..He..!!! I want my life to be simple...and in that way may be we can live happily ever after..

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Crackles on my nails

Yah...yah..you guessed it right..! I am talking about crackle nail paints.But I am talking about the cheapest crackle nail paints in the market..


I have seen Chiana Glaze and OPI and Colorbar crackle nail paints..and they are roughly priced around INR500..so I religeously stayed out of reach.
But this month Oriflame launched 3 shades of crackle nail paints-black,pink and blue of which I bought pink and black. They are also selling the base coats but you can skip this one easily!!


Now with big and I mean very big expectation I applied them. But listen it carefully they failed me. First of all they dry really quick..and I mean that. The time between you get the brush out of the bottle and put on the nails...they are half dried. Did not expect this.



And they do not crackle so good..After 2 application I got hold of them and they turned out pretty.But not good or great.
So not really buying them again...although they are very cheap. Price??? Well..they are something around INR179...
What do you think about them???

Everything's changing...

The first time my mother talked to me about my marriage..I was in utter shock!!I did not think of it...it was not even in my plan..to do it so early!! But then I thought it over...its not that I do not believe in marriage or nor do I have a plan to never do it in my life...so why not listen to my parents and meet him once..!!
I did not believe in love at first sight..but yes..after meeting him...I thought about the fact again!!It was a real fast decision...I don't know whether a girl should make a fast decision like this with a very important  matter of her life...but I did...I don't know why but I could feel the trust in him...
Somewhere I read that what we see in others eyes are the reflection of what we think...but I decided to bit adueu to all these complexities...as all these makes life harder and not easier and I trusted completely on him...who I think god has send for me..!!So finally I am getting married...you will listen this more in the coming time as still I can't believe that yes..I am getting married..Time flows sooo quickly..When I see backwards I can see the still little me being tensed in her uniform waiting for the 10th result...and now I am doing masters and living with my parents has finally became a counted number..!!Feels so odd...but with all these sadness and this bitter feeling of leaving behind everything that I once called mine and they belonged to me..which I never ever shared with anyone...my room...my books...the corridor...the staircase..all are going to be just memories waiting to be relieved when I will visit them again...I feel happy to be with him..
Am I being selfish..??But this is the way a girls life goes on...or you can say this is the way life goes on...we meet new people and they become the most priority of our life...
I just want to thank god for being blessed with such wonderful parents a lovely sister and sending me the live of my life...Thank you God....

Thursday, March 21, 2013

My pretty cotton balls

Well...I bought these pretty cotton balls yesterday..!!Earlier I used TBS cotton pads for my cleansing and make up removing..but since they are not available on any web store now...and I am too lazy to go to the shop and buy it myself...I headed to my local cosmetics store and found these.
They are way cheaper than the TBS and comes in this pretty colors.Oh..how much I adore them!!


And they are very soft and works good for cleansing. Look at those pics...I love to watch them over and over again...and touch them too. But that's unhyegenic...you know?? So resisting myself becomes important sometimes!!
But they come in a chep plastic pouch..so I stored them in a glass jar..


I think they are available everywhere if you search locally.Does a decent job..I am satisfied..!!!
By the way...life is being totally boring...studying and preparing a bit for my marriage is of no help to charge my batteries and making me go!!Started a bit of caring for my skin...anyone knows more of bridal??I am in a complete mess!! Ha!Ha!!!


However whatever preparation is going on..and with my would be hubby staying long away for me...I am starting to write here about the bit of awkwardness in my life...and my journey towards a new life..!!
I thought of staring this one as a beauty blog...but then I thought of writing as a life blogger!!You won't find it everywhere!!
So...here I am..writing my heart and life..out loud here...hoping to read it one day...and lough out loud..!!